Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face?A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out... Q: Why should 60 plus year old people use valet parking?A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?A: On their foreheads.Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?A: “Gosh, I remember these!”Great Quotes“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500.” Lynn Lavner“It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.” George Burns“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.” Sharon. " I walked over close to him and out of earshot. "I feel sorry for you Derek?" I said patting his shoulder. "Why?" he asked. "You're so afraid of your Daddy, the conservative republican that you've buried yourself so deep in the closet and even resorted to hiring an impressionable girl to be your straight camouflage!" "What...what are you talking about?" he asked visually shaken. "Missy told me everything Derek. About how you're gay and you promissed her the family scholarship in exchange for her being your beard. But you were never really gonna get the scholarship for her, were you?" I couldn't...my dad said it would be a conflict of interest." "Oh that's to bad, but luckly you've got a trust fund." Derek looked at me. "You're blackmailing me, I could beat you right here and.." "I'm gonna stop you right there Derek and draw your attention to Missy who is standing over there." I pointed to Missy who was standing at the top steps next to the schools entrance. "Missy has a copy of this.
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